5/24/2023

Did you know there was a made for TV version of Cat On A Hot Tin Roof  from 1976 with Natalie Wood and Robert Wagner with Laurence Olivier playing Big Daddy and Maureen Stapleton playing Big Mama? Now you do. Apparently there’s also a made for TV version of Cat On A Hot Tin Roof  from 1984 with Jessica Lange and Tommy Lee Jones with Rip Torn playing Big Daddy and Kim Stanley playing Big Mama. I’m not familiar with Kim Stanley, so I looked her up and she’s in a film called Séance on a Wet Afternoon. Never saw it, but the plot synopsis sounds so good it makes me consider doing something as ridiculous as resigning up for HBO Max.

HBO Max doesn’t appeal to me right now since I’m already subscribed to Paramount goddamn Plus because I started watching Star Trek on Hulu and got into that right before it all became exclusive to Paramount Plus. Maybe I should subscribe to HBO MAX SINCE ALL THE GODDAMN MOTHER FUCKING STAR TREK FILMS ARE CURRENTLY OVER THERE! I kid obviously. The only Trek film I have any great interest in seeing is The Wrath of Kahn. It’s not like I’m gonna shell out $16/month to revisit Star Trek: Nemesis. I first saw that movie when I was 9-10, and it had to be the first Star Trek thing I watched. Gee, I just can’t imagine why almost 20 years passed before I watched anything else with “Star Trek” in the title.

I’ve got no business subscribing to another streaming platform, not just because I’m a Paramount Plus cuck, but also because there’s so much free shit available. Somehow, I just went down an internet wormhole where I was informed that on YouTube for free, they got the 1941 adaptation of The Little Foxes with Bette Davis. That interests me because not only do I say “Bette Davis, we love you” like Madonna, but earlier this year I read the playscript for The Little Foxes and really enjoyed it. Fucking Christ, I’m quoting Vogue and revealing that one of the more thrilling moments of my life this year was reading the script for a 1939 play. Moments like these are when I clearly get friends referring to me as “the gayest straight man.” They called me that because they’re all too young to know who Tony Randall is.

I really need to make some time to check out The Little Foxes. William Wyler, who directed it, is hit and miss with me, but his collaborations with Bette Davis are great. Jezebel was terrific and The Letter is in the top tier of films Eddie Muller featured on Noir Alley. Oh! Speaking of Noir Alley, I really need to order a copy of Los Tallos Amargos aka The Bitter Stems. It’s a great Argentinian noir film that was considered lost for decades until a copy of it reemerged just a few years ago in some film collector’s house. The thing I remember most about Los Tallos Amargos is it having a really great dark comedic ending. I need to order Los Tallos Amargos before I forget the title again. I just spent 30 minutes trying to recall what that damn movie was via Google by searching “Noir Alley lost South American film” and telling my computer screen “no no it wasn’t La Bestia Debe Morir.”

My daily posts tend to be perverse, but this one’s just antique pop culture preferences. Yep, I’m that person who sees a copy of Closer Magazine on the grocery store checkout rack and almost purchases it because the cover story is “Montgomery Clift’s Long Road To Happiness.” Another thing in that issue that almost made me buy it, returning to the start of this post, was a 2 page photo of Natalie Wood. Another movie I really need to own on Blu-ray along with Los Tallos Amargos is Inside Daisy Clover. I need a physical copy because I L-O-V-E the You’re Gonna Hear From Me number and it’s unavailable on YouTube with the original audio in tact. What’s available is this comparison of snippets featuring Natalie Wood’s original recordings, and the female singer whose voice the studio chose over her’s in a manner reminiscent of West Side Story. Inside Daisy Clover, a film I was introduced to on HBO Max that, judging by its camp classic categorization, serves as another example of me being the gayest straight man not named Tony Randall. Callbacks.

I’m ending this before I reveal myself to be any more obsolete than I already have.