I recently went to my high school reunion and it wasn’t what I imagined. I waited forever and my 5 best friends never showed up to dance around the school with me while we all sang doo-wop. That’s a reference to the music video for Billy Joel’s The Longest Time. I don’t know why I’m explaining that because if there’s something everybody knows, it’s a reference to a song where a middle aged white guy said “the last time I gave a fuck about music that wasn’t mine, Frankie Lymon’s testicles hadn’t dropped yet.”
That music video for The Longest Time is eerie. Billy Joel’s waiting for hours for his pals to show up and after everybody else has left, all 5 guys strut in. They’ve gotta be ghosts, right? “Well if they’re dead then why isn’t Billy Joel seeing them at the age they all presumably died in a Chickie Run?” Maybe Billy Joel is imagining what his pals would look like if they got to grow up. It’s like in Star Trek: Picard where Jean Luc said he always imagined his mother as an older lady who offered him tea and a chat even though she died young and if you approve of that new series’ canonization, he did just that in the Next Generation season 1 episode Where No One Has Gone Before. It’s gonna be so hard to masturbate after you’re done here. This tonal shift is like trying to jerk off to Dorothy Stratten knowing how she died. I don’t even try anymore because when I’m about to cum I see Peter Bogdanovich’s scowling face judging me. They’re both dead now, hopefully reuniting in the hereafter. “Jesus Peter was that part of the mourning process, fucking my sister?”
What was I talking about before Peter Bogdanovich? High school reunions. Yeah, I’m not going to mine. I suppose I should since a hot broad I used to know wants to fuck me and it’s always nice to not rely on chloroform to give my hand a break. Guess it’s fitting I started this talking about middle aged white guys cause now I’m saying “broad” like Sinatra. Yeah I’m gonna fuck her and then get on stage with two friends and tell everybody “boy howdy did I get ring a ding dinged!”
Billy Joel, Frankie Lymon, Frank Sinatra….I gotta get going because my relevant references tank is getting low. Also while I was talking about Peter Bogdanovich I noticed Paper Moon is streaming on Paramount Plus. It’s nice when I get a reason to use Paramount Plus for something that isn’t Star Trek. Fucking bullshit, I started getting into Star Trek when it was on Hulu, THEN it became exclusive to Paramount Plus and they had me over a barrel BECAUSE IT WASN’T LIKE I COULD JUST QUIT AVERY BROOKS AND RENE AUBERJONOIS. O you want a Deep Space Nine recommendation for after you jerk off and sadly reflect on how it’s been too long since you felt the embrace of another person? Duet. I love that episode like some of you love googling “Seven of Nine feet.”
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5ebc96b3f25a9
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