After almost 30 years of not caring for sci-fi, I’ve now getting into Star Trek. It began when I heard Frank Gorshin guest starred on a classic episode of the original series, “May This Be Your Last Battlefield.” Frank Gorshin, as all the kids reading this know, is best known for portraying The Riddler on the Batman ’66 series and doing the greatest impersonations of Kurt Douglas and Burt Lancester.
I’ve begun going through the original series, Next Generation, Voyager and Deep Space Nine. So far Voyager might be my favorite. Why? Not sure. I just really like Kate Mulgrew, maybe because I love Columbo and she was Mrs. Columbo for 13 episodes in a shortly lived spinoff.
If there’s any Star Trek fans looking for an entry point into Columbo, Leonard Nimoy is great in the episode titled “A Stitch In Crime.”
During this beginning into Star Trek I always wondered if there was any way to write about it. I guess I’ve chosen to do that by rambling about the massive horniess I’ve seen while starting TNG. I feel like Deanna Troi while muttering to my TV “hard-ons, so many hard-ons.”
TNG’s horniness seems to be Gene Roddenberry continuing to transcribe his idea of the future. There’s a lot of debate regarding Gene Roddenberry’s contribution to Star Trek. What isn’t debatable is Gene Roddenberry’s legendary perversion. I’ve yet to hear contrarians say “Gene Roddenberry was a prude, he was too busy thinking about warp speed to be drooling over tits and bush!”
A brief glance over the original series makes it apparent Roddenberry was a peepshow connoisseur. The Starfleet uniforms for Uhura and Janice Rand helped pull male viewers out of a western/variety hour comfort zone. There’s nothing shameful about a hornier imagination in science fiction, it breeds variety. It’s great Robert A. Heinlein created the space marine in Starship Troopers, and it’s also great Gene Roddenberry created the space hooker in “Mudd’s Women.”
If you wanna see Gene Roddenberry’s unfiltered perversion, I recommend the cult classic Pretty Maids All In A Row. Rock Hudson channels Ted Bundy as a high school guidance counselor seducing every female student prior to killing them. Roddenberry wrote and produced a film that feels like what sex soaked shag carpeting smells like.
By the late 1980s you’d imagine Roddenberry lost his hard-on, but early into TNG you have the episode “The Naked Now.” Like Halloween (2018), it’s a sequel/reboot for the original series episode “The Naked Time.” The virus seems more powerful since instead of seeing a Vulcan breaking down after a woman confesses her love to him, the security chief of the Enterprise fucks a robot. I like to imagine the 137 year old Dr. McCoy walking past that and thinking he was having a cordrazine flashback.
Since we’re having a horny Star Trek conversation, I wanna point out that Denise Crosby starred in multiple episodes of Red Shoe Diaries. One episode I mastu..watched, she plays a cop who kidnaps her crush after pulling him over, ties him up in an alleyway and seduces him. Fuck the police indeed.
Before I get to another episode of TNG that’s an 11 on the horny charts, can we talk about Deanna Troi? Christ, I can’t imagine how many takes were blown from Roddenberry on set doing wolf whistles. Apparently there’s an episode where she’s doing yoga in an outfit where the costume somehow pulls your eyes to her tits arguably more than her normal outfit already does. Since this show started airing at a time when masturbating possibly required you to go find an old crusty Playboy in the woods or a dumpster, TNG really did the lord’s work.
Personally I’m more of a Tasha Yar guy. I really dig women with short blonde hair who can easily overpower me. Reminds me of watching Married with Children and thinking “enough of this curvy redhead in leopard print attire, where’s Marcy??”
“Justice” was the other TNG episode that had me wondering if I found softcore porn on Hulu. The Enterprise finds some Roman Empire inspired planet where everybody’s feeling great because they’re busting loads nonstop. The vibe is if Plato’s Retreat was an entire planet.
Something else I was reminded of while watching “Justice” is the film Caligula. If you’ve never seen that film, right that wrong. Malcolm McDowell, Peter O’Toole and Helen Mirren made a film about a Roman Emperor and after they left the set every day, Penthouse owner/Caligula producer Bob Guccione brought in pornstars to shoot hardcore sex scenes that are seen throughout Caligula. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen Laurence of Arabia and several closeups of an ejaculating penis in the same film.
This planet in “Justice”, Rubicun III is populated by swingers who also have an extra terrestrial being they recognize as God hovering above them. I imagine that’s Gene Roddenberry’s dream life, a voyeur who sees everything on a planet where people can’t stop fucking. It’s kinda like being Charles Manson on Spahn Ranch without the whole “killing people and attempting to blame the Black Panthers” baggage.
The best moment of “Justice” was Worf saying “while I’d love to fuck, none of these petite broads could handle the Klingon dick I’m slinging.” If Gene Roddenberry was still alive and doing whatever he wanted, I imagine that moment would be followed with a guest appearance from Piper Perri leading Worf into the bushes while saying “Klingon dick is my warmup.”
Clearly one of the highlights from this beginning into Star Trek for me is the horniness TNG is already unapologetic about. Hopefully what I’m seeing in TNG prepares me for when I get to that part in Voyager where they said “what if you wanted to fuck a Borg?” The day they created Seven of Nine, you know that writer’s room saw Gene Roddenberry waving from up above like Chubbs, the alligator and Abraham Lincoln.
It's Emilio Amaro's Blog 
I remember reading a Star Trek porn parody comic online, and one of the comments was “Man, Gene Roddenberry would’ve been proud.” Hell, I think the comic’s author said something similar at the beginning of the sequel comic!
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