Kid 90 Ramble

A friend asked me to watch Kid 90 and I think it’s pretty good. I question my own opinion because it’s not hard for something to look good on an app as awful as Hulu. Outside of The Golden Girls, Hulu displays more shit than Salo.

In defense of Hulu, they’ve embarrassed themselves like every other streaming service. It’s disappointing how quick streaming services went from being an alternative to cable/satellite’s high priced failings to reminding you of the dull programs that made millions abandon cable/satellite years ago. Then again, if MTV and The Simpsons failed to avoid irrelevancy, how could anybody else?

Hulu is more infuriating because they currently run commercials with the line “Hulu has everything you love.” Yeah, a four part Hillary Clinton doc. What next? Henry Kissinger on his death bed saying “you’re fucking right I had innocent civilians killed. I’m a goddamn kraut, IT’S WHAT WE DO!”?

So Kid 90, Soleil Moon Frye spends 70 minutes showing off home videos and no recent release rivals it. It says a lot about entertainment that the lack of imagination is so severe that Punky Brewster digging up VHS tapes is more engaging than anything streaming or about to play theatrically

While taking place in a decade everybody is looking back on with rose tinted glasses, Kid 90 is thankfully more than a vapid look back at an overrated decade. I think there’s 8 people who’ve died referenced here, a notable amount from suicide. The suicide count is so high in Kid 90 that one of the last things included in the documentary is the suicide hotline number.

Even being someone who routinely lacks serotonin, I couldn’t imagine calling the suicide hotline. I imagine it’s unrewarding. The only way I’d call is if it was the crisis hotline Ted Bundy worked. What better distraction from suicidal thoughts than hearing some hunk talking about killing people and using their decapitated heads as fleshlights?

I haven’t had a Netflix subscription since 2017…but if I heard there was a scene in Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile where Zac Efron fucks a decapitated head in a 15 minute uninterrupted shot, I’d be so loyal to Netflix. I’d be their Hermann Goring.

What was I discussing before fucking decapitated heads and the Nazis? O right, Star 80…I mean Kid 90. The rare fulfilling experience from recent entertainment. As I was watching it, I remember thinking this was the depiction of rewarding social interactions with other humans I recall from films like The Breakfast Club and My Dinner with Andre. Is that the truth or some clouded perspective I have because streaming services are worse than network television back when everything was Pleasantville? Who knows.