It’s a shame I have the embarrassing people muted on Twitter since it’s made me arrive late to their bitchy whimpering. No matter how many days ago it was, let’s discuss fragile people in their 30s and how defensive they are about their lackluster childhood.
On the 27th somebody wrote about how terrible Hocus Pocus is. That bait was more effective than a dwarf (THAT’s the politically correct term?) dressed like Shirley Temple in front of Jeffery Epstein’s home. Immediately you had “adults” reacting with more blubbering fury than your Christian grandmother catching you masturbating to Bedazzled.
EDIT: I later learned the author of that piece is Dana Schwartz, someone assumed to be a stereotypical woke bore after blaming South Park for everything bad. The Hocus Pocus piece is a deviation from her online personality/gimmick.
I had a great laugh at the reactions. Some pouted and called the writer an asshole for speaking against the schlock that inspired them to half-ass their way through life. Others said “if the movie’s bad, then how did it hit #1 at the box office recently?”
1. That Lion King remake last year dominated the box office. Nostalgia-quality=profit.
2. Is a movie being #1 at the box office in 2020 an indicator of anything good? Hocus Pocus‘ only competition was The War With Grandpa. What respectable person is going to a theater during a pandemic?
Why do people love Hocus Pocus and why are they so defensive about it? Given how many receive a stimulating jolt from cosplaying as victims, I imagine they love the movie because it follows a pathetic virgin who at one point gets his shoes stolen in a cemetery. Frail bores like Max and grating nuisances like Dani are beloved by all the wrong people.
The only memorable part of Hocus Pocus is Sarah Jessica Parker easing an entire generation through puberty with cleavage on display while riding and stroking a broomstick. Just imagine a time without internet porn and a cable box cockblocked by parental controls. Suddenly this comes on and Sarah Jessica Parker provides you with all the masturbatory material you’ll need that October. Women who make incense and listening to Fleetwood Mac their entire personality, you should thank SJP for your thriving OnlyFans account.
I don’t know what else to say about Hocus Pocus besides 80s/90s babies have to start realizing their security blankets aren’t sacred. If you’re in your 30s having an anxiety attack because someone voiced a negative opinion about Hocus Pocus, get your shit together. Nobody’s telling you to improve your taste, but stop begging others to dumb themselves down to your level
It's Emilio Amaro's Blog 
* DAMN, Liz Hurley in that red bikini…and that later shot of SJP’s cleavage!
* This blog is literally the first thing I’ve ever heard about that ‘article’ on Hocus Pocus, and I’ve got friends who ADORE that movie, so it’s rather surprising I haven’t heard them rubbishing it. Maybe they don’t know the article exists, or they saw it for what it was and moved on.
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Sounds like your friends aren’t members of Horror Twitter who comb the internet 8-12 hours daily for content to feign outrage over. They’re doing it right.
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