I watched ten movies, I wrote what I think about them.
You’re smart, you get what’s happening. Let’s get to it.
Soapdish
This is something nobody in 1991 could’ve predicted would be remembered almost thirty years later.
Soapdish came out during a huge year for movies. From Silence of the Lambs, Terminator 2, Thelma and Louise, Boyz N The Hood and Cape Fear, 1991 was fucking killing it. While all that was happening, out comes Soapdish and it was a moderate success that soon got lost in the shuffle. Now it’s risen back to the surface because it’s such a great time capsule.
The first six names in this cast are Sally Field, Kevin Kline, Whoopi Goldberg, Elisabeth Shue, Robert Downey Jr and Cathy Moriarty. Following that you have Teri Hatcher, Kathy Najimy, Ben Stein and Carrie Fisher. Garry Marshall is also here playing the studio head. The charm of Soapdish is how it captures so many names relevant in a bygone era. If 1991 holds a special place in your memory, Soapdish is like a snug and fuzzy blanket keeping you warm from any harsh reality.
The appearance of this film also captures what 1991 was. There’s a scene with Robert Downey Jr walking down a hallway holding a purple/teal blue bag surrounded by glamour headshots in purple frames. That stimulating use of color is seen throughout the film and feels very 1991, a year that still had one foot in the 80s while waiting to see what culture the 90s would give birth to.
The nostalgia boost helps because this script mirroring the insanity of soap operas loses direction on more than one occasion. It’s a mess more redeeming with time, something that’s forgiven for capturing a specific moment.
What’s less redeeming is a pinch of transphobia at the end. Between this and Ace Ventura, it’s fascinating to see how frightened men were at the thought of having sex with a trans woman. When you look at the conclusions of those two films it’s apparent there was a real fear of something that could take credibility away from the male ego. You’d think with the way Some Like It Hot concluded 30+ years prior this kind of thing would be handled better, but you’re reminded many dudes still have anxiety about getting their ass fingered during a prostate exam.
Soapdish is a fine film that people grow more affectionate for while romanticizing a year that looks so sunny and bright in the rearview mirror.
Midsommar
I didn’t see this movie in theaters for a variety of reasons. The first being it’s a summer movie and theater attendees during the summer are garbage people. Also, an avant-garde horror film serving as commentary on toxic relationships isn’t exactly that kind of thing that pulls you out of the pool in July.
What made me get around to Midsommar was Florence Pugh. I saw Little Women and she was the surprising star. She plays Amy, the bratty nuisance and Pugh gave that character a comedic charm I can’t imagine was ever there previously. Because of that, I finally sat down for Midsommar.
With Disney taking over more and more of the film industry, it’s nice seeing people like Ari Aster and A24 getting their fucked up ideas in the spotlight. Ever since it’s been released, Midsommar has been seen by many. That’s surprising since this is the kind of movie that has no interest catering to a wide audience. It’s a textbook slow burn and leisurely explores this commune death cult. Luckily the journey is never boring.
It’s a miracle something this carefully paced and odd is widely recognized. With how a majority of horror relies on bad jump scares, it’s great having an alternative like Midsommar messing with your head in broad daylight.
Holiday Inn
If you love musicals, old fashioned racism and can’t hunt down a copy of Song of the South, have I got a film for you!
It begins with a character played by Louise Beavers who’s referred to as Mamie. When she come in and Bing Crosby said that for the first time, I knew I got into some shit. That was nothing compared to the scene for Abraham Lincoln’s birthday. At first I’m looking at all these black servers and waitresses wondering to myself “o fuck those can’t possibly be people in blackface.” Sure enough it’s fucking blackface left, right, up, down and five miles down the road. Bing Crosby is in blackface and Marjorie Reynolds’ blackface is a Jim Crow propaganda poster come to life.
A fucking band, servers and two lead performers, all in blackface. I’m surprised this inn’s audience didn’t slap some on and add more horror. Meanwhile Louise Beavers and her two kids hide out in the kitchen. Even for 1942 racism, it feels like they’re going out of their way. So many movies have racism and blackface, but Holiday Inn really dwells in it.
This is the perfect movie to remake. I love the concept of a countryside inn only open on holidays that puts on a big show to pay tribute to whatever holiday it is. It’s the easiest remake imaginable. “Hey, what if we write some new songs and not be racist?” No, instead the big reboot ideas are “what was popular 25 years ago?”
King of New York
Damn what a great movie. This kind of thing takes me back to down and dirty films you stumbled across cable or HBO years ago. Few things are as entertaining as Abel Ferrera giving you a tour of New York City.
King of New York feels like a step up from what you usually get from Abel Farrera. There’ll be times you travel down the streets of New York at night and there’s a slick Micahel Mann polish to this dangerous and grimy environment. This film had a $5 million budget and it looks like far more.
Christopher Walken’s Frank White is an abnormal crime don. He’s this king of the underworld who leads his henchmen into shootouts like a grizzled army general. Usually these guys get soft commanding orders in a luxurious hideout, but Frank White’s still getting his hands dirty even though he’s at the top of the totem pole.
Frank White also has a chill zen approach to everything you never see in a type of character who tends to be an amped-up machismo dad. In the middle of the most chaotic situations, Frank White always appears very comfortable. He’s always looks like he’s made peace with the fact his life could end at any minute.
King of New York is also one of the more fascinating Lawrence Fishburne performances I’ve seen. Post-Boyz N The Hood, Fishburne seemed to always play a version of that reserved intelligent father, so to see him here as the most aggressive guy on the streets who could have a confrontation with any stranger is a fascinating act against type. Sprinkled throughout what could be a one note performance, he also has moments where he’s giving money to children and calmly licking David Caruso’s spit from his face.
King of New York is one of the more underrated gangster films. Everybody has Scarface memorized, but only a fraction of that massive cult audience has seen this gem.
The Iron Lady
Unbelievable…
Given that I’m an ignorant American, I don’t know as much about Margaret Thatcher as someone who suffered under her reign. I can at least recognize she was a controversial figure. I think at one point she was advocating for schoolchildren to not get free milk. She also passed a tax bill in 1990 that screwed the working class and is credited as being the thing that finally pushed her out of office. Right?
Similar to someone else ruling during her time, Ronald Reagan, Thatcher was despised by many and yet with The Iron Lady, you’d never know it. It’s more of a forgetful highlight reel than a movie. The moments of reenactment feel like a low budget true crime show.
Every now and then there’s this attempt to show Margaret Thatcher as this unique presence clawing her way through a man’s world. Multiple scenes are filmed from high above depicting her as a light blue dot surrounded by a legion of black suits. There’s one embarrassing scene in particular where male politicians are saying she’s overly emotional while laughing as shes screams back at them. It’d only be a tad more dramatic if Helen Reddy’s I Am Woman scored this moment.
The Iron Lady has no awareness of how bad it is as it pumps an awards season score while Meryl Streep recites dialogue to make Thatcher look like a revolutionary hero instead of someone whose death resulted in multiple cities celebrating in the streets.
On top of being the most uninspired bio-pic, there’s a wrap around of Margaret Thatcher late in life stumbling around while suffering from dementia. It reminds me of how there was talk years ago of Will Ferrell possibly playing a 2nd term Ronald Reagan suffering from Alzheimer’s in the White House. Fun fact, this movie that portrays Margaret Thatcher as an old woman talking to imaginary people was released while she was still alive.
Even with Bohemian Rhapsody and Green Book, nothing prepares you for a bio-pic as terrible as this one.
Anna and The Apocalypse
There’s a certain kind of horror fan that cheers on anything and spoiler alert, I lack that ability. Anna and The Apocalypse was a zombie musical that attracted a lot of praise. When it was added to Hulu I once again learned the terrible taste many horror fans have after just suffering through Overlord.
It’s not the musical addition that holds Anna back but the way this film travels down the tired roads George Romero paved that The Walking Dead abused. Yet again there’s a zombie apocalypse and we’re following a group traveling from Point A to Point B as a majority of them die one by one. Like most independent horror films, it’s so bleak and boring to look at. It’s lacks any captivating color to the point a neon filled bowling alley is the high point.
There’s things to champion like great gore, but then you have something as intolerable as a villainous high school principal. You’ll forget about this character and then they’ll remind you of the giant anchor holding this film down. It isn’t until the 3rd act that he begins to sing and somehow a dreadful character only gets worse. This bore suddenly becomes a raving lunatic and the low quality is reminiscent of Repo: The Genetic Opera.
Anna and The Apocalypse tries to get you to believe it has anything to offer in an exhausted sub-genre, but it’s the same old shit. If you feel the need to watch people singing around monsters, watch the Once More With Feeling episode of Buffy.
Moonrise Kingdom
At least once a year I attempt to watch a Wes Anderson film. I use the word attempt because in recent memory I’ve seen things like Isle of Dogs and The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, two meh films that go on thirty minutes too long.
This yearly exploration through Wes Anderson’s career brought me to Moonrise Kingdom, one of his better films. It concludes before going on too long and is a therapeutic escape from the typical Wes Anderson formula. By that I mean Bill Murray and Jason Schwartzman are off to the side.
Along with a new addition like Edward Norton, you also have someone and something you’d never imagine seeing in a Wes Anderson film, Bruce Willis putting some effort into a role. It’s a treat to see because Bruce Willis has recently developed a reputation of being a grunt who puts as little effort as one can for a paycheck.
The cherry on top is Harvey Keitel. There’s just something captivating about seeing someone who was gritty enough to star in Bad Lieutenant popping up in a Wes Anderson film.
I have to imagine Moonrise Kingdom is a film many Wes Anderson fans adore since most of them are lonely nerds seeing themselves represented by Sam. He’s your traditional white nerd who somehow lands the admiration of a troubled girl out of his league. The two run away and get to have a courtship on their own island. At one point she’s in her bra and panties and the two dance so close together she can feel Sam’s erection pressing against her leg.
Moonrise Kingdom definitely caters to the imagination and desires of a lonely nerd, to be as confident and brave as Sam while landing a girl as cool as Suzy Bishop.
This is a great entry into Wes Anderson’s filmography. The courtship of these two kids is cute while also feeling like a short story written by John Hughes for an issue of National Lampoon in 1979. This is Wes Anderson at his best, displaying everything that makes him one of a kind while having the awareness to conclude things just before they become tedious.
Mean Streets
Won’t be surprising to hear a Scorsese film was a great experience.
The DVD has a quote on the back that describes Mean Streets as “a jazzy riff of a movie”, the perfect summary. Mean Streets isn’t about plot so much as it’s focused on capturing the feeling of walking through old school New York Italian neighborhoods. You feel like you’re walking through these historic neighborhoods where a giant smog of cigarette smoke lingers over these buildings with so many memories sealed in the walls. As the credits roll, you’ll find yourself in a daze while you slowly come back to reality. It’s a testament to Scorsese’s talent that something near its 50th anniversary still has the capability of being a VR experience.
What a great cast. You have Harvey Keitel front and center along with great character actors like David Proval and George Memmoli appearing throughout this film. At one point fucking David Carradine is drunk and filled with bullets by his brother Robert.
It won’t be surprising to hear Robert De Niro steals this film as Johnny Boy, arguably the most psychotic loose cannon in a film. I thought Adam Sandler in Uncut Gems went out of his way to make things difficult but Howard Ratner is mild mannered compared to Johnny Boy. It’s the type of unpredictable lunatic machismo you could only find in 1970s New York.
It’s wonderful that after all the movies I’ve seen, I can still come across something like Mean Streets for the first time and be blown away. It’s kinda sad that a movie from 1973 is still that effective because it means many films from the past 50 years haven’t learned shit. In a better world I’d see Mean Streets in 2020 and be bored to tears because I’ve been spoiled by other films. Instead Mean Streets showcases how exciting and unpredictable films could be during the 70s.
The Skin I Live In
This was my introduction to Pedro Almodovar and holy shit what an introduction.
Without giving much anyway in case a reader hasn’t seen this perfect movie, The Skin I Live In goes in that Elle category of films that couldn’t be made in America. While American viewers pace around with anxiety if a film doesn’t agree with their own specific political perspective, people like Pedro Almodovar thankfully don’t cater to this.
Watching what plays out in The Skin I Live In is comparable to the bliss on Vincent Vega’s face when he takes heroin. Compared to other films, The Skin I Live In is the cinematic equivalent of heroin. It hits harder than most and for better or worse puts you in a euphoric state from the way it bravely dives into some taboo areas.
This was the first foreign film I watched following Bong Joon-Ho’s Golden Globes speech where he said “once you overcome the one inch tall barrier of subtitles, you will be introduced to so many more amazing films.” Few films support this theory like The Skin I Live In.
Bad Times at the El Royale
It’s rare finding a two and a half hour film that stays as exciting and fresh as Bad Times at the El Royale. This is something you watch and think “holy fuck I guess movies really are magical after all!”
Bad Times at the El Royale has a secluded cast filled with some stars getting an opportunity they aren’t finding elsewhere. The person this film serves best is Dakota Johnson. Whether it’s in the Fifty Shades trilogy or How To Be Single, Dakota Johnson rarely gets a chance to show how talented she is. In El Royale she’s finally given a role suited for her talent.
Chris Hemsworth nails the villainous cult leader role. God knows it had to be fun playing a baddie after being a Marvel goody two shoes forever.
Along with a script only featuring compelling characters, the film goes above and beyond in making the El Royale hotel a compelling character. This once trendy hotel with its late ’50s glamour and the gimmick of existing in California and Nevada is so much fun to explore. The sets were built from scratch and the well thought out work is on full display. It’s reminiscent of the creepy, eye capturing environments in Bioshock.
A great example of this film’s thriving experience is when Jon Hamm explores the hotel and finds that all the mirrors are one ways with a long dark hallway for spectators on the other side. The voyeuristic journey while peeking on other patrons is so compelling. The patience demonstrated in this scene and others where the camera documents every detail works. Few films offer an experience and an environment like El Royale where it’s necessary to take your time in.
Bad Times at the El Royale is reminiscent of the 90s when Tarantino was god and everyone tried their hand at a stylized crime film. Drew Goddard’s contribution to this sub-genre has everything you could want, great characters, a perfect environment and great tunes. Most of all, there’s a rare sense of movie magic, a hypnotic aura few films have, something viewers chase after like a first high. This two and a half hour film is so compelling and entertaining to the point it feels like a 5-7 minute YouTube video. With all the films that have been made and seen over the years, it’s nice to know new ones still have the capability of capturing your full attention.
Ten more movies I can finally say once someone brings them up, “yeah I saw that.” Let’s do this again.
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