Nostalgia and the passage of time is wild. In 1991, nobody could predict something that would be representing the year almost 30 years later would be the HBO Pictures dark comedy, Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead.
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves was the 2nd highest grossing film of the year and now nobody gives a fuck about any version of Robin Hood. There had to be millions of couples making out to a cassette of Bryan Adams’ (Everything I Do) I Do It For You because of that movie and now it’s long forgotten like someone who didn’t make it on an ofrneda.
Sleeping With The Enemy, Father of the Bride and The Naked Gun 2 1/2 are all in the box office top 10 for 1991. The last time you saw these titles you were walking past a Robert Patrick T-1000 cardboard cutout and a Be Kind, Rewind sign.
With all that’s been forgotten, Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead…A MOVIE THAT MADE $10 MILLION LESS THAN KING RALPH, is championed in a way few pop culture relics from 1991 are. “Dishes are done man” is one of the most iconic movie quotes from one generation’s perspective.
You just never know how shit will work out.
90s Fashion: The Movie
Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead came out when I was -1 so it didn’t hit my nostalgia bullseye at all. While stuff like Problem Child and Rugrats from this same time dominated my childhood, this movie was something I missed. Up until a few years ago I didn’t know shit about it. As I began connecting with more people from the Toys R Us generation, I began to notice how essential this film was to them. I finally checked it out and realize why it’s a childhood classic for some.
Right way when I saw this was an HBO Pictures film I understand the nostalgic appreciation. Kids from the early 80s/early 90s no doubt grew up watching any film they could on premium cable. So many cult classics gained attention through HBO and Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead is one of those movies.
Another thing that makes this movie a nostalgic goldmine is how much of a time capsule this movie is. If you’re somebody who’s depressed by 2019 and wishing to travel back to the early 90s, few movies serve as a better time machine than Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead. A great place to start with that statement is pointing out how Christina Applegate’s character is participating in the Rod Serling Chainsmoking Challenge.
For the past 10 years or so, America has banned smoking from any public environment. On top of that ban, when characters smoke in movies or TV, it’s only on Mad Men. People have even bitched about Stranger Things having characters constantly smoke when the show takes place in a decade when the world was one giant Camel advertisement.
Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead pulls you out of this “fuck smoking” moment in time and tosses you back into an era when it wasn’t a huge deal to see a 17 year old smoking while talking to her mom. That’s one of many moments where Christina Applegate can be found with a cigarette in her mouth. It takes you back to when restaurants had smoking sections and any trip to the bar guaranteed you leaving smelling like an ashtray.
Another “wow this takes me back” moment is when the movie devotes an entire scene to promoting Chuck E. Cheese, cups aimed right at the camera. When’s the last time you’ve seen the poor man’s Dave and Busters? Is Dave and Busters even still around?
True story, the Chuck E. Cheese I was taken to as a kid was across the street from this strip club.
From a moment where Christina Applegate is creating a resume on a typewriter to learning how to use a fax machine, Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead feels like an episode of Quantum Leap where you’re hurled back to a time very different from ours.
At one point drag queens dressed like Madonna, Liza Minnelli and Marilyn Monroe steal the dead babysitter’s car. As we’re 10+ seasons into RuPaul’s Drag Race even that’s fucking wild to see, drag queens still dressing up like the same handful of female celebrities instead of developing their own unique larger than life personalities.
This film’s depiction of romance is also a hardcore throwback like a paperback with Fabio on the cover. Christina Applegate and Josh Charles are having a montage on a beach and it’s so reminiscent of commercials that used to tell singles to call a hotline to meet other singles in their area. These two have a fight and as they go their separate ways, a rock ballad titled Perfect World begins to play. The tropes filled in this film really take you back to when the first child molestation accusations about Michael Jackson wouldn’t be public for another two years.
One Perfect Shot
Before we get into the fashion I’ll say another example of this film being a fossil is Danielle Harris’ presence and how it shows nobody caring about horror.
So by 1991 Danielle Harris had already starred in two films that resurrected the Halloween franchise. She was the lead of those films and in this movie she barely has enough material to puts her above an extra. She says “o hey Sue Allen” once and in another scene you see her eating cereal, THAT. IS. IT. She led two movies in a franchise and 0 people in 1991 Hollywood gave a fuck. They say horror was as valued as porn but I think even porn had more credibility cause Traci Lords did a ton of shit around this time.
SHE’S ON THE POSTER!
I know she ain’t cool anymore but props to Roseanne for casting Danielle Harris and giving her something to work with. She was on 5-7 episodes of Roseanne as the bad girl across the street trying to seduce David. She even ditched Darlene in Chicago to go off with some older boys in one episode, she was fucking B.A.D.
Alright now let’s talk about this film’s fashion cause W.O.W….
I mentioned Christina Applegate’s date in this movie and if I remember correctly she’s wearing GIANT GREEN PANTS. Where the fuck did these pants come from? Was somebody planning Shaquille O’ Neal’s wardrobe years in advance for Kazaam? The buckle on these pants look like it was pulled off a pilgrim display at a museum.
Another startling moment of fashion is Christopher Pettiet’s shirt for a portion of this movie. He’s got this striped shirt and the sleeves are covered in flowers. I was looking at this thing wondering if the band Nelson had their own fashion line at Sears.
David Duchovny is in this and the best way to describe his look is villain of the week on Miami Vice. At one point he’s wearing a plain suit jacket with a shirt underneath it that looks like a Jackson Pollack autumn portrait. His hair is slicked back and I’m certain I saw a little ponytail.
This movie is so 1991 wild. At one point Christina Applegate is wearing a beret to a corporate job with a shirt that looks like stained glass at a Catholic church? My head is spinning. I need to sit down and attempt to recover from this 1991 overdose.
Last thing I’ll point out in the time capsule is this film’s bulky entertainment center that allegedly is state of the art but was anybody, even in 1991 looking at that shitty television and saying “ah yeah I’m rubbing this in the neighbor’s face”?
It’s easy to see why nostalgic folks love Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead. Nothing’s more of a screenshot for this moment in time more than this film. Everything happening in this movie are people still trapped in the 80s while waiting for Kurt Cobain to change the culture with the opening chords of Smells Like Teen Spirit. This is also the first time a generation got to experience a dark comedy where an old lady’s corpse is left on the doorsteps of a mortuary with a sign that reads, “NICE OLD LADY INSIDE, DIED OF NATURAL CAUSES.”
Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead is also a film that isn’t afraid to be unrealistic and absurd with how it follows a teen providing for her family by lying her way into a corporate job. Few films anymore are afraid to be that ridiculous and people obviously appreciate this stretch of the imagination.
If you’re looking for a film that feels like it was pulled from a box with a Magic Johnson USA Olympics jersey and a Bart Simpson doll that says “eat my shorts” when you pull the string, no film fits that description better than Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead.
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