I was going to make this a weekly thing, but I got sidetracked since the first time I posted a How To Make Broads Cream Their Pants article. My apologies to all of the men who haven’t been able to exorcise the horny demon in their special lady’s vagina. I’ll do my best to keep posting what will soon be known as this generation’s Kama Sutra.
Speaking of Kama Sutra I was watching Bram Stoker’s Dracula and there’s a random scene where Winona Ryder and her friend are looking through the Kama Sutra. Boy what I would give to have an hour with Winona Ryder and bust out my moves. I’d make that pussy quake so hard she’d be more hysterical than her character during the first season of Stranger Things.
You think real life sucks losers dry Veronica Sawyer? Wait til I get between them thighs 😉
Alright back onto the serious topic of guys with itsy bitsy weiners that can’t get it all the way up their lady’s water sprout.
This month is host to the most macabre holiday of the year, Halloween. And when it comes to staying kinky, boys………you’re gonna have to get spooky.
How do you keep your girl sexually interested during this time of year you may ask? Worry no more because I have just the secret.
This tip is influenced by the William Castle/ Vincent Price classic The Tingler and it’s quite simple. First while watching a movie with your lady friend, get a good grip around her neck and find the right amount of tension that resolves all of her daddy issues BUT doesn’t kill her. And then, slowly penetrate her asshole and as you do, turn the television off making the room completely dark, lower your mouth to her ear and say……
“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN PLEASE DO NOT PANIC! BUT SCREAM! SCREAM! SCREAM FOR YOUR LIVES! THE TINGLER IS LOOSE IN THIS THEATER! AND IF YOU DON’T SCREAM IT MAY KILL YOU! SCREAM! SCREAM! KEEP SCREAMING! SCREAM FOR YOUR LIVES!”
If she doesn’t start screaming or doesn’t scream loud enough, increase tension around her neck BUT DON’T KILL HER!
……if you do kill her, place a large replica of the tingler by her body and tell the cops you killed the tingler by screaming but were too late. It should hold up in a court of law.
Once she has screamed for her life, slowly pull your cock from her ass and say.
“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THE TINGLER HAS BEEN PARALYZED BY YOUR SCREAMING! THERE IS NO MORE DANGER! WE WILL NOW RESUME THE SHOWING OF THE MOVIE!”
Turn the television on, barely touch her vagina and she’ll be squirting so hard you’ll think you’re at a foam party!