Fuck I almost forgot to post the Throwback Thursday story. This one is one I wrote last year involving a guy who kidnaps a woman bored with her life that has taken the clown character John Wayne Gacy used to portray at parties. If I remember correctly there are 33 victims in the story which is equivalent to the number of boys John Wayne Gacy killed, that’s a little Easter egg for you.
It was Monday morning and Kathy dreaded the thought of going into work. Part of her dreamt of calling into work sick and sitting at home all day. She wanted to, but knew that as an adult she had to save her sick days for when she was actually sick. The only thing worse than sitting in a cubicle staring at a computer for eight hours was doing that while being sick.
She also dreamt of quitting her job and driving away, but that too seemed very unlikely. She imagined that someone who traveled in the darkness was used to being a criminal or using their body to get by and Kathy wasn’t exactly one who did that, and didn’t imagine she had a body that would allow her to.
Kathy found herself to be very average.
She still had fifteen minutes before she had to clock into work and Kathy was walking towards a nearby ATM to get some cash for later. She always preferred going to the liquor store after work with cash instead of her debit card and having to waste precious drinking time typing in her pin number and signing her signature.
After gathering the cash and turning around towards her car, Kathy saw a group of balloons hanging from the crack of the passenger window. She looked around for someone who had possibly left the balloons but she didn’t see anybody around.
“Huh, well that’s sweet I guess.”
She hoped that whoever left the balloons was attractive with a cock that could fuck for hours on end. She wanted to be like everybody else, using a night of great sex to achieve the endorphins that would make them happy enough to get through such a mediocre life.
As Kathy got closer to her car, she saw a shape in her passenger seat. Her mind wondered if someone left a big teddy bear or something weird like a scarecrow. She wondered if farmers still used scarecrows. In her brief time on this earth, she couldn’t even recall a time when she drove by a cornfield or any other field for that matter and saw a scarecrow hovering over the field. Perhaps the crows of the earth met with all of the farmers of the world and agreed to only pick off roadkill and corpses if farmers ditched those horrifying scarecrows that haunted their dreams.
Once Kathy was inches away from opening her car door, she noticed that the thing sitting in her passenger seat was a slightly obese man. Kathy made eye contact with the man and he began to wave at her.
“Hi darling! What’s your name?”
Kathy stood there for a few seconds in silence, giving herself time to take in what was happening.
“Kathy! Well it’s a pleasure to meet you. Why don’t you hop in so that we can begin?”
Kathy opened the driver’s door and sat in her seat.
“Yeah Pogo, umm I have work in a few minutes.”
Pogo the Clown laughed and waved his hand in the air as if to dismiss the idea.
“There is no such thing as work when Pogo is around, there is only fun to be had!”
Kathy rolled her eyes.
“Well Pogo, that is a nice and very unrealistic idea but you see, there’s this thing called bills and….”
The clown flashed a fan of hundred dollar bills. He then took one and shoved it into Kathy’s mouth.
“Did that shut you up darling?”
The clown followed this up by laughing hysterically and clapping his hands together.
Kathy took the hundred dollar bill out of her mouth and placed it in her purse.
She started the car and took it out of park and began to back up out of the spot. As she did, she wondered about the name Pogo and could have sworn there was another clown named Pogo. She tried to recall where exactly it was she had heard the name before. Kathy assumed there was probably some mediocre local Saturday morning children’s show with a clown named Pogo. She wondered if it was the same clown.
If it was, she was impressed he still had money and didn’t blow it all in one night on cheap whores looking for a drink at a nearby bar.
Kathy and Pogo drove around for awhile. Kathy wasn’t exactly sure where Pogo was interested in going or what he was looking for. The clown refused to tell her. Whenever Kathy asked where it was he wanted to go, Pogo would just shake his head and tell her to drive around.
After about an hour of cruising, Kathy’s cell phone began to ring. She saw that it was her boss and froze in horror. She rushed to pick up the phone and answer it.
“Kathy, where in the fuck are you? You were supposed to make coffee and I don’t smell any god damn coffee in the fucking office.”
“I’m sorry sir it’s a bit hard to explain.”
After Kathy said this, Pogo looked at her as if he were studying her.
“Well you better start if you don’t wanna go back to whatever fucking fry station you worked at and sucked cock for a fucking side job.”
“Is that your boss on the phone?” Pogo asked.
“Yes it is.”
“Who in the fuck is that with you?”
Pogo grabbed the phone as Kathy focused on the road.
“Am I speaking to Kathy’s boss?”
“You’re god damn right you are, although I don’t know how long I’ll be Kathy’s boss. Who in the fuck are you?”
“Why I’m Pogo the Clown.”
“Jesus fucking Christ how fitting, a fucking clown hanging out with a fucking clown. So what in the fuck are you two doing? Smoking weed and watching the fucking circus?”
“Listen Bozo, put Kathy back on the fucking phone before I pop all of your fucking balloons.”
“No need, we’ll be on our way.”
Kathy looked at Pogo wondering what he had planned as he hung up the phone. Pogo looked over at Kathy as he handed her the phone.
“Well you heard me, drive to your place of employment.”
Kathy did just as Pogo the Clown requested and within ten minutes she was pulling into the parking lot. Butterflies were currently swarming around her stomach and she felt like she was on the verge of shitting her pants while throwing up all over the place. Everything about the current situation felt like some form of fever dream after watching It on cable.
Kathy walked into the building right behind Pogo the Clown. She couldn’t believe she was attending work with a fucking clown.
Kathy and Pogo walked in through the front doors and the receptionist currently looking them up and down smiled from ear to ear.
“Why you must be Pogo.”
“Why yes! I’m glad my attendance was made known throughout the land.”
Kathy guided Pogo over to the elevators and they stepped inside. Kathy punched the button for the floor she worked on, the third floor.
There was a few moments of silence as Kathy and Pogo waited. Kathy decided to have a brief conversation.
“So how long have you been a clown?”
Pogo let out a puff of air and rolled his eyes, as if to think how many years it’s been.
“Christ, probably right before you were born. A long long time Kathy. Trust me, I very much look forward to my retirement.”
Kathy wanted to ask more, but the elevator doors opened and Pogo stepped out. Kathy directed the clown towards where her boss’ office was.
In order to get there, Kathy and Pogo had to walk by all of the cubicles.
A majority of the people were currently on the phone and dropped their jaws as Kathy and the clown walked by. A couple of employees accidentally cursed on the phone while talking with a customer. Kathy groaned at this knowing some douchebag supervisor was bound to act as if this was the worst thing to happen in society today.
Finally, after the bizarre walk of shame, Kathy and the clown were standing before her boss’ office.
Her boss Roy was a shorter man with balding hair and a very hairy pale body. He was a classic overly aggressive type to make up for how old and insecure he was. He was currently looking at something on his laptop. When he noticed there were two people standing in his doorway, he looked up and his eyeballs almost bulged out of his skull.
“Jesus fucking Christ! An actual fucking clown!”
Pogo smiled and waved at the man.
“Indeed it is! I assume you like clowns?”
“Are you fucking kidding me? Of course not! I know you people are just a bunch of fags who wanna hide it.”
“Well, that isn’t a nice thing to say.”
“Yeah? And what the fuck are you gonna do about it Pennywise?”
It was at that moment that Pogo pulled out a large butcher knife from his clown suit.
“O I believe I have an idea.”
Kathy watched as Roy screamed a high pitch wail as the clown leapt over his table and plunged the knife into his throat. Blood sprayed in all directions as Roy held the wound attempting to keep enough blood in his body to avoid dying.
Pogo, covered in Roy’s blood grabbed Roy and began ballroom dancing with the man as he slowly faded away. After he was dead, Pogo shook his body and frowned.
“Psh! Some dance partner.”
Pogo used the butcher knife to slice off Roy’s head from his lifeless body.
After doing so, he rushed through the doorway grabbing Kathy’s hand with one arm and holding Roy’s decapitated head with the other.
After he stepped out of the office, Pogo held out Roy’s decapitated head and began to cough in a way to draw attention rather than someone with an actual cold.
“Excuse me, excuse me everybody,” Pogo said in a serious boss like tone. “Would everyone please step out of their cubicle?”
Everyone did slowly. At around the exact same time, everybody seemed to notice and take in what was currently in front of their view and shrieked in horror.
“Work is cancelled for the day, everybody go home and enjoy some quality R&R time. Your boss says so!”
Pogo began laughing hysterically as everybody screamed and rushed out as if the building was on fire.
Pogo whipped Roy’s decapitated head at a wall nearby a group of co-workers who screamed. A couple of people even pissed their pants.
“Uh oh! Looks like someone had a wittle accident” said Pogo laughing hysterically at a couple of women completely embarrassed by their loss of bladder control.
A large group of employees were attempting to fit through the same doorway to no success. Pogo had his hands on his hips, freeing Kathy of his hold and shaking his head.
“Allow me to help move this a little faster.”
Pogo plunged his butcher knife into the head of a woman and threw her back away from the crowd. He then put two male employees into a head lock and guided them towards a nearby window. He twirled around and threw them out the window. They both landed through the closest parked cars through the front windshields, dying instantly from severed jugulars.
After three people were dead and out of the way, the group of coworkers began to make their way through the doorway and descended down the staircase.
Pogo gently wrapped his hand around Kathy’s and walked her towards the elevator.
“Time to go darling, there is so much more fun to be had.”
Kathy obediently followed the clown and imagined she would have a longer lifespan if she didn’t try to escape from the clown.
The elevator ride down was in complete silence.
Once the doors opened, Pogo rushed towards the door that led to the staircase and waited.
The receptionist now looked horrified once she noticed the blood stains on Pogo’s clown suit and was frozen from the shock and fear. Pogo put the blood covered knife towards his mouth and made a shushing noise as he locked eyes with her. He then comically noticed the knife and put it down at his side, putting up his index finger to his mouth and made a shushing noise.
The door to the staircase was thrown open and Pogo stabbed the first guy to make it through at least a dozen times in the span of a few seconds. He then threw the corpse to the group on the other side of the doorway as they climbed over one another to make their way back up the staircase.
“O I’m gonna get you and bite your little cocks out and stretch your little pussies over my fucking head!”
Pogo closed the door and began to laugh, looking over towards the receptionist.
“I kid of course. Perhaps when I was younger I would’ve chased after them but the extra pounds really hold me back.”
Pogo motioned over for Kathy to follow him out the front door.
“Time for Elvis to leave the building.”
Pogo calmly walked over to Kathy’s car as Kathy looked over to him with a horrified glance. Pogo noticed this once and looked away. He then looked over towards her again in confusion.
“O yes, the Elvis thing. You see, back in the 1970s when Elvis was morbidly obese, once his show was over, someone would get on the microphone and announce that he had gotten into his limousine and left by saying that ‘Elvis has left the building’. And it just became a pop culture reference. Is that what you were wondering about?”
“A little I guess but I was more concerned about the murders that just took place.”
A look of surprise came over Pogo’s face as if he seemed to just recall what had happened.
“O that little thing. Alright when we get in the car I’ll try my best to explain what just took place.”
Kathy started up the car as Pogo climbed into the passenger seat. They then sped away.
Once they were a few minutes away from the building, they noticed police cars speeding past them towards the office.
“They don’t seem to recognize what vehicle we’re in, thank Christ for that.” said Pogo, studying the speeding police cars in the rearview mirror.
It was at this moment that Kathy connected where she had heard Pogo the Clown before. She looked at Pogo in the passenger seat in a state of shock.
Pogo frowned in indifference at Kathy’s surprised look.
“Well spit it out, don’t just stare at me like a circus animal.”
“Y-you’re dressed up like John Wayne Gacy…”
Pogo the Clown laughed out loud and began to clap his hands.
“O you recognize it now? Yes, I suppose my costume and make up now being blood splattered helped bring that out.”
Kathy noticed that Pogo’s suit and makeup were the exact replica of the clown that John Wayne Gacy portrayed at birthday parties. He had the blue eye paint and a large red mouth with a pale white face. Half of his costume was completely red while the other half was white and red striped. He even had bright large fur balls on his little red hat and costume to resemble buttons.
At least Kathy thought this was the original design of John Wayne Gacy’s clown. Whenever crime shows showed the photo of John Wayne Gacy dressed as Pogo, they tended to show it for only a few seconds in color before pulling an overly dramatic trope and showing the photo in black and white.
“Is there any reason you’re dressed like the clown John Wayne Gacy portrayed?”
Pogo sat in the passenger seat in silence for a few seconds.
“What can I say? I’m a fan of the man’s work.”
Pogo turned on the radio and flipped to an oldies radio station, In Dreams by Roy Orbison filled the car.
After thirty minutes of mindlessly cruising around and listening to whatever came on the radio, Kathy turned it down.
“Alright, so where to now? A college campus for a Ted Bundy spree?”
Pogo laughed and shook his head.
“No no, I leave that sort of setting for nerdy white guys who are filled with far too much cum to the point where they buy an automatic rifle and just mow down the liberal douchebags that plague the campus.”
“Well then, where are we going then?”
Pogo smiled at Kathy and patted her on the leg.
“We’ll know when the time arrives.”
Kathy drove away from the city and into the outskirts of where she lived. It had been years since she had left and it felt nice to not be surrounded by the sound of loud car horns and people who were overly angry and hated their lives.
Kathy had been driving around the countryside for almost ten minutes when Pogo spotted that there was a carnival going on at the local fairgrounds and screeched in excitement.
“There! There it is!”
Kathy turned toward the fairgrounds and parked the car.
After the car was parked, Pogo stepped out and smelled the air.
“Cotton candy and funnel cake, these truly are the scents that make life worth living.
He smiled and opened his eyes, studying Kathy.
“You know, it amazes me that you aren’t running away attempting to escape or scream for someone to help you get out of this situation.”
Kathy shrugged her shoulders.
“Meh, I’m enjoying it. This is the most fun I’ve ever had before. I don’t really view it as a kidnapping.”
“And you aren’t worried that maybe I’ll kill you and eat your guts like popcorn?”
“You could, but then again you’d have to go out and try to find another driver.”
Pogo nodded his head as he thought this over.
“Good point. A clown worth anything never drives himself. Well, enough jerking off in the parking lot, let’s go enjoy the carnival!”
In a way the carnival was the most genius place to be. Some people by now were probably seeing reports on their phones that a crazy clown had killed five people in an office building, but everybody at the carnival probably wouldn’t expect Pogo to be that same clown. They’d just assume that he was an employee.
Surely the killer clown was on the run or had rubbed off all of his clown makeup and was in citizen’s clothing by now.
Pogo and Kathy walked up to a food stand and Pogo noticed that a child was walking away with a giant lollipop. He eyed the stand and noticed that they currently seemed to be all out of giant lollipops. He stopped the kid before he was able to get away.
“Hey there sonny boy, mind if I have that lollipop?”
“What? No! This is mine! I used my money to buy it.”
“Come on kid, I’ll give you anything for it.”
“I said no!”
Pogo kneeled down so that he was eye to eye with the kid and glared at him.
“Give me that fucking lollipop or I’m going to claw out your fucking eyes and rape your fucking mother while I eat you!”
The kid began to shake and cry as he slowly handed the lollipop over.
Pogo smiled from ear to ear once the lollipop was in his hand.
“Pleasure doing business with ya junior!”
Pogo laughed as he licked the lollipop.
“O it tastes like a utopian sherbet of pleasure.”
Pogo and Kathy continued to walk around and take in what the carnival had to offer.
It wasn’t long before a group of stereotypical punk kids stepped in their path. The three white males wore leather jackets, even though it was close to ninety degrees and they all had dyed spiked hair.
“Christ, 2016 and punk kids still dress like it’s 1977 in the U.K.” said Kathy.
“Shut your fucking trap lady.” said one of the punks.
Pogo looked and frowned at the young man.
“Hey now, that is certainly no way to talk to my friend boys.” Pogo said.
“O yeah…” said who Pogo assumed to be the leader of the punks.
The leader slowly stepped up to Pogo and looked him in the eyes.
“And what the fuck are you gonna do about it Bozo?”
Pogo smiled as he put the lollipop in his mouth. He bit down on the lollipop a few times and then pulled it out of his mouth to reveal it was now in the shape of a pitchfork. Pogo then plunged the lollipop directly into the punk’s throat.
The punk turned around and held his throat as he looked at his two friends, bathing them in his blood before falling over and dying.
“Fuck fuck fuck” muttered one of the punks over and over like a scratched record.
Pogo stabbed the stuttering punk in the eyes with his lollipop. He then shoved the lollipop into the mouth of the other punk with the eyeballs of his friend still pierced upon the pitchfork lollipop.
He then pulled the lollipop out of the punk’s mouth to reveal the eyeballs were now in his mouth.
As the punk with no eyes was on his knees and screaming, Pogo put his hand over the mouth of the other punk.
“Eat your friend’s eyeballs and I’ll let you walk away with your life.”
The punk’s eyeballs bugged out as he was told what he would have to do. Pogo glared at him without blinking and waited.
It took the kid a few seconds before he bit down upon the eyeballs. He then bent over and threw up on his shoes, the eyeballs looking up at him in the vomit which caused him to throw up twice as much.
“O so close!” Pogo said before stabbing the kid with his signature butcher knife so violently to the point where his head disconnected and rolled off his shoulders.
Pogo turned his attention towards the final punk and rolled his eyes, obviously annoyed at how he was still shrieking. He broke the kid’s neck by twisting it around and around until it separated from his body.
After Pogo was done, he and Kathy noticed that a crowd had gathered around them shocked and unable to look away. Of course, there were also a few people holding out their cell phones desperate to capture something that would get others to notice their existence on whatever their social media platform of choice was.
Pogo ripped the head from the first punk he had killed and began to juggle all three of the decapitated heads while smiling and grinning for all the cameras surrounding him.
“The juggalos have truly taken over the carnival this year.” said someone in the crowd.
“You’d think they’d wait until fall for a show like this.” said another.
Pogo continued to juggle and then gently tossed the heads towards the crowd. People exclaimed in joy and began to clap for Pogo as he took a bow.
He then walked up to Kathy with a large grin.
“Sorry but I can’t help but to perform for an audience.”
The next attraction Pogo walked up to was a stand where if you knocked down a pyramid of bottles, you would win a large stuffed animal.
“Since you’re just such a sweet little dame, I’m gonna win a prize just for ya sweetheart.”
Kathy blushed and looked down at her shoes.
“O Pogo, you sure do know how to treat a lady.”
Pogo handed the man three dollars for one ball and put a fastball grip on it.
“Now are you absolutely sure you don’t want to buy three balls for five bucks?”
Pogo shook his head.
“Trust me, all I’ll need is one ball.”
The man held up his hands.
“If you say so clown.”
Pogo gripped the ball as tightly as he could and whipped it at the bottles. It hit the top of the bottom bottles, but they refused to fall. The bottles on top did and that was it.
“Ah tough break clown, care to try again?”
Pogo squinted his eyes.
“You fucking gypped me, give me a fucking stuffed animal.”
The carny laughed at Pogo’s demand.
“It don’t work that way clown.”
“Well fuck it! I guess I’ll make my own stuffed animal.”
Pogo leapt over the counter and began ripping up two of the stuffed animals, taking the stuffing out of them.
“Hey! What in the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
The carny spun Pogo around just as he pulled his butcher’s knife out. Pogo plunged the knife into the carny’s stomach and slit it open wide enough for him to shove the cotton balls inside of the carny’s torso. Pogo then held the corpse out for Kathy.
“Want this one Kathy?”
Kathy thought about it and shook her head.
“Nah, I think I’ll just go with the giraffe.”
Pogo pulled the stuffed giraffe off of the hook and gave it to her.
“There you go little lady!”
Pogo jumped over the counter and locked arms with Kathy, smiling ear to ear as they walked on.
Kathy and Pogo walked by a cotton candy stand and Pogo’s eyes lit up like a child on Christmas morning.
“O wow cotton candy! I love cotton candy!”
Pogo handed the man behind the counter some money and tasted the cotton candy that was handed to him. He currently was studying the cotton candy in his mouth like a food critic would, looking for the smallest of flaws.
“Hmm, I do believe it is missing something….”
Pogo jumped behind the counter and began to stab away at the man who began to scream once the knife plunged into his flesh. Pogo cut the man’s head off and used the blood coming from his neck drip into the cotton candy machine. After allowing it to soak in, he tasted the now blood drenched cotton candy and moaned in pleasure.
“And now it’s perfect!”
A group of people around the food stand smiled and rolled their eyes with their arms crossed.
“Is this to like hype a new slasher film?” asked someone.
“Looks like Killer Klowns from Outer Space finally got a sequel.” said someone else. The crowd giggled at this.
Pogo handed out the blood soaked cotton candy at no cost.
“Tastes just like strawberry syrup.” said someone.
“No I believe it’s cherry.”
“I bet it’s apple.”
Pogo hopped from behind the counter and rejoined Kathy.
“So unsuspecting, it’s amazing!”
“Christ, how many times are you going to decapitate someone today?”
Pogo frowned at Kathy.
“Is it becoming a bit too predictable?”
Kathy shrugged her shoulders.
“I mean a little bit.”
“Hmm, I suppose I’ll try to mix it up a little. As you can tell, it’s just something I never tire of.”
Pogo and Kathy walked around and noticed the rides. Pogo studied the Ferris wheel and the roller coasters. He frowned at how slow they seemed to be moving at.
“Hmm, they’re moving so slow. I hear no screams. I really don’t like that at all.”
Pogo now studied the people on the rollercoasters.
“They look so bored, no fear or tears. This certainly needs to be changed.”
Pogo walked up to the carny that was currently working the controls. He seemed to be an older man judging by his grey hair and grizzled face that had seen many things change throughout his lifetime. Pogo and Kathy didn’t doubt that this man had been around to see segregated fountains.
“Sir, can you speed up the rollercoaster? It’s moving at such a dull pace, like a turtle caught in molasses.”
The elderly asshole slowly turned around and looked angry. He was such an old school type that he had a cigar clenched in his mouth and a few more in the pocket located on the left side of his dress shirt. When Pogo and Kathy looked the man over, they had to wonder if they had just stepped into a time portal to a carnival from t 1950s.
“Fuck off clown.”
After saying this, the old man turned away from Pogo and back towards the rollercoaster in front of him.
“But this is no way to operate a rollercoaster. This is too boring!”
The old man faced Pogo once more with a bright red face.
“Listen here you fucking clown. I operate the rollercoaster the way that I want to operate it. If you don’t like it, start your own fucking carnival. I operate my rollercoaster so that nobody’s heart reaches a point of complete chaos. This is family entertainment and I intend to keep this ride family friendly!”
It was at this moment that Pogo grabbed the man by the collar of his shirt and looked him directly in the eyes.
“Well, unfortunately for you I’m the new operator of this carnival and we’re going in a completely different direction.”
Pogo shove his butcher’s knife into the man’s stomach. The man looked down at the knife in shock and horror as if it were a chest burster from Alien. He then looked up at Pogo for some kind of explanation.
“As you can see, family entertainment has just left the fucking carnival.”
Pogo then tossed the man onto the tracks of the rollercoaster.
As he sped up the ride, Pogo studied the man on the tracks.
“Still alive, good.”
Pogo watched with an evil grin from ear to ear as the rollercoaster got closer and closer to the man on the tracks. He looked over at Kathy and seemed to be thinking something over.
Once the roller coaster’s cars were inches from running over the old man, Pogo pressed a red button that put the brakes on the ride.
“O thank you clown! Thank you for sparing me.”
Pogo looked over at Kathy.
“Would you like to do this one?” Pogo asked.
Kathy looked at Pogo in shock and wonder.
“Wow, I’ve never killed someone before.”
“Well then, I think it’s about time we popped your cherry and I couldn’t think of a better way. At the push of a button you can end this bastard’s life. No need to get your hands dirty the first time.”
Kathy walked over and studied the board.
Pogo put his hands upon her shoulders and kissed her head.
“Take your time sweetheart. I know the first time can be a bit intimidating.”
Kathy looked up and stared at the man on the roller coaster. He was pleading and crying for Kathy to get him off the tracks. Kathy knew he was only in such a state because his life was on the line. She assumed it was the most emotion the man had ever shown to date.
Kathy pressed the green button and watched as the man’s body was sliced in two. One half fell off the left side and the other over the right side. Kathy looked at half of the corpse staring at her in blank shock. She smirked looking at the man’s eye looking at her.
“Wonderful Kathy! Just wonderful!” Pogo was clapping his hands and very excited. He then motioned Kathy away from the roller coaster’s controls.
“And now my darling, time for the grand finale.”
Pogo sped up the rollercoaster. After doing so, he noticed an iPod connected to the roller coaster’s speakers.
“Ah! I was wondering where that shit Avenged Sevenfold was coming from.”
Pogo put on a song with what can only be described as a serial killer grin. Kathy would never forget how evil the grin looked with the red paint around Pogo’s mouth. It was then that Kathy realized that the red paint was not face paint but the blood of Pogo’s past victims. Obviously, it was far too dark and clumpy to be anything but blood.
The song that Pogo put on was The Last Ride by Todd Rundgren.
The screams and cries for Pogo to stop the ride almost drowned out the music. Pogo watched over the spectacle like a conductor hearing an orchestra play his masterpiece.
A few of the girls on the ride noticed that a clown was now at the controls and began to scream and cry. Pogo doubled over with laughter from their fear.
The ride was operating at ninety percent of the highest speed that it would reach. As the final guitar solo began to play, Pogo cranked up the knob of the operating board to the point that Pogo and Kathy were now surrounded in a cloud of smoke from the board breaking down from operating at such a speed.
Pogo and Kathy watched as the rollercoaster ride was at the very top and jumped off of the tracks. The screams that were heard from the rollercoaster victims before their death were indescribable. Only someone who had been witness to someone about to die in such a shocking and horrifying way could know what such screams sounded like.
The carnival goers watched in awe as the rollercoaster cart flew into the air like a car from a Harry Potter book and then descended upon a stand where a man was using a water pistol to fill the mouth of a clown in order to pop a balloon.
The man working the stand, the guy playing the game and all ten of the people on the rollercoaster were killed. The two men who were crushed by the cart died instantly. Some of the rollercoaster victims died instantly, and some died slowly and in a very painful way.
To add insult to injury, the carnival goers still unable to see what was going on as reality went up to the victims dying slowly and began snapping selfies with them, as if they were happy to interact with actors in a haunted house ride.
After a few moments, people looked at Pogo at the smoking controls and began to cheer loudly.
Pogo and Kathy bowed before the crowd and thanked them for the applause.
A large man in suspenders and a dress shirt made his way through the crowd. He was bald and smoking a cigar.
“Is this all your doing clown?”
“Why yes it is, and you are?”
“I’m Morgan Ryan and I run this carnival.”
Pogo turned towards Kathy and whispered in her ear.
“Christ, what is it with carny guys and cigars?”
“I just wanted to tell you that I’m a big fan of this morbid stunt you put on.”
“Well thank you sir.”
“Lemme be real with you here. This fucking carnival is in the god damn trash. Nobody gives a fuck about a carnival nowadays with Netflix and video games. Hell, scrolling fucking Facebook and Twitter is more entertaining than a fucking carnival to millennials and their parents. I was fucking struggling to get by, just making money off of people bored enough to stroll this place with nothing better to do, hoping to slip between some thighs behind a ride know what I’m saying? And then you come along and fuck! There’s an energy that I can’t remember the last time I felt in a fucking carnival.”
“Well thank you!”
Morgan took out a stack of one hundred dollar bills and handed them over to Pogo.
“Here’s a grand. You come back here tomorrow and do whatever the fuck you want and there will be more where that came from. I guaranfuckingtee it!”
“Wow! Thank you sir!”
Pogo and Morgan shook hands and Morgan walked away.
“How great is this? Getting paid to kill, why I thought this was something that only happened in video games!”
Pogo and Kathy went to the local KFC and picked up a bucket of chicken and took it back to a motel where Pogo knew the owner. He could’ve gotten the room for free, but since Pogo had some cash on him, he decided to pay the owner for being graceful in the past.
“He’s a guy I once somewhat trained to be a killer.” Pogo said as they walked to the room.
“Is that so?”
“Mhm, he didn’t ever want to be a mass murderer, you know someone who just leaves a pile of bodies wherever they went so I’m not sure if he kept up the hobby or not.”
Pogo opened up the motel room they had and discovered that on the carpet were strands of blonde hair, some of which were attached to bits of scalp.
Pogo rolled his eyes and shook his head.
“O Jeremy, still collecting hair from this victims.”
“You never were a trophy guy?” asked Kathy.
Pogo shook his head.
“Not really. I live for the thrill of the current moment. I don’t exactly care about living in the past.”
Pogo and Kathy sat on the motel bed and ate chicken while they watched the news. Pogo smiled as he saw his face and Kathy’s on it for the office massacre earlier in the day.
“Ah, still the talk of the town after all these years.”
“Do you think the owner of the carnival will get suspicious?”
Pogo shook his head.
“He’ll probably assume it’s some elaborate prank to promote the carnival and besides, I doubt he even watches the evening news. Honestly, we’re probably the only people currently watching it who aren’t senile vegetables in a nursing home.”
After the news was done talking about Pogo and Kathy, Pogo grew tired of the typical fear boosting news reports and shut off the television.
“Boy, I think today was perhaps the most successful murder spree I’ve ever had before.”
“How long have you been doing this?”
Pogo smirked as he thought about it.
“Too long, wanna know how I got my start?”
Kathy shook her head up and down like a child interested in a story an elderly relative was about to tell her.
“Well, I know this will sound a bit crazy to you but I’ll just start by saying my connection to John Wayne Gacy doesn’t just happen to be that I dress as the clown character he once portrayed.”
Kathy sat in silence wondering exactly what Pogo meant by this.
“When I was a teenage boy, I lived a couple of blocks from John Wayne Gacy.”
Kathy’s jaw slowly began to descend.
“Were you a victim who got away?”
Pogo shook his head.
“Not quite, for a number of reasons. I was never exactly Gacy’s type. Gacy tended to go after blonde pretty boys who look like your typical California types who might even do gay for pay. I had brown hair and was always somewhat overweight. I also think that Gacy studied me a few times and knew that I would be a harder catch than perhaps a brainless blonde who didn’t understand the darkness in some humans. I believe Gacy saw me and recognized a look in my eyes that he saw staring back at him in the mirror many mornings.”
“So you were inspired by living near this guy?”
“A little more than that. One day, I believe it was a Sunday I was walking around my neighborhood. It had to be Sunday because it was fairly deserted given that this was a time where the masses still attended church. I was walking around and I saw down the street Gacy shoving a rag into the face of some teenage boy. The kid passed out and I watched as Gacy dragged him into his house. It was quite surreal to watch in your suburban neighborhood in the middle of the day.”
Pogo took a breather to sip from the Pepsi he had in his hand.
“I think about that moment a lot, perhaps more than any other moment in my life. If someone were to step into my brain, I believe that image of Gacy knocking that kid out with his rag would be hanging inside of my mind like an oil painting. It was certainly the loss of whatever innocence still lingered inside of me and very similar to the moment a kid watches porn for the first time.”
“So what happened after that?”
“Well, about a week or so later I was so absorbed by what I had seen that I actually had the balls to approach Gacy at his house and ask that he take me on as a protégé. It was quite dangerous, not because Gacy could have killed me but what if I just happened to be some troubled youth who thought he was this dark being and in reality was just a whiny emo boy? Gacy’s darkness could have ruined me in ways I could have never imagined. Luckily, I was destined to be a serial killer and I had one of the greatest to ever play the game living in my neighborhood.”
“So you just like hung out with him when he was killing teenage boys?”
“Yeah, I mean it was no different from someone apprenticing. I would hand him handcuffs or a bonesaw when he needed it. Helped him dig some graves in his crawlspace. It was a very educational experience.”
“So what happened after he was arrested?”
“Well, he wrote me from prison and gave me his blessing that I could become the Pogo character when I began my reign of terror and well, life has been a thrill ride ever since.”
“Yeah, it sure has been something, but personally I feel like I’m going to retire soon.”
“You think you can just give up killing?”
“O yeah. I don’t see it being any different from a football player hanging up the uniform. You either retire in your prime or you retire when you’re far too old for this bullshit. I feel like I’m a combination of the two. I’m getting up there in age and it won’t be long before I can’t perform at the level that I do. I kind of want to hang it up before my level of performance decreases.”
“So when do you think that’ll be?”
“I’m not sure, but I’ll know when the time comes. Anyways, let’s just get some sleep. We got a big day tomorrow.”
Pogo and Kathy fell asleep side by side in the motel bed where no doubt countless hookers put in a hard night’s work.
When the sun lit up the motel room, Kathy and Pogo crawled out of bed.
“Ah, another day of brutally killing people in the most chaotic way I see fit.”
Before going to the carnival, Pogo took Kathy to a nearby fast food restaurant and ordered just about every single item off of the breakfast menu.
“Christ, you keep ordering like that and you will look like John Wayne Gacy.”
Pogo smirked and grabbed at his stomach flab pouring over the pants of his clown outfit.
“Well, I’m not exactly that far off. It’s not like I’m ruining a swimmer’s body I use to land a summer job at Abercrombie and Fitch.”
“Still, you should be enjoying it in moderation.”
Pogo rolled his eyes and waved Kathy off.
“To hell with that. As a homicidal clown, you never really know when it’s going to be your last meal.”
After eating his breakfast, Pogo and Kathy drove over towards the carnival. Pogo got out of the car and stretched his body.
“Ugh, I got a lot of rust on me this morning. I really outdid myself yesterday.”
“Are you gonna be up for causing murder and chaos Pogo?”
“Of course, once I get some blood flowing through my veins I’ll be alright.”
Since it was still early this morning at the carnival, all that were currently attending the carnival were the elderly.
Pogo frowned as he looked around and sniffed the air.
“Christ, it smells like prune juice and soiled adult diapers.”
As Pogo was still attempting to wake up, Kathy looked to her right and saw an elderly man walking with his walker across the carnival. He looked absolutely miserable. Kathy never understood why people attempted to live long healthy lives just in order to die absolutely miserable in their 80s or 90s.
The elderly man began to cough and he doubled over. It looked like his coughing fit was painful, a level of pain Kathy would never quite understand.
Without thinking too much about it, Kathy grabbed Pogo’s knife and shoved it into the back of the man’s neck. Within a couple of seconds, she stabbed the man five times insuring that he felt no pain before leaving this world.
As he fell face up, he wore a smile and a look of awe. Kathy had never felt better about herself.
Pogo stood over and studied the corpse.
“Huh, what made you kill this random geezer?”
“He just looked so miserable, I couldn’t bear to see him continue looking so miserable.”
Pogo nodded at this.
“Understandable. God I hope he was filthy stinking rich and has lazy waspy kids who he left out of his will.”
Pogo laughed at the thought of it.
“The boys will have to work at a car wash and the daughters will actually have to charge people when they whore themselves out!”
Pogo and Kathy continued to make their way through the carnival.
“So what do you have planned today Pogo?”
Pogo the clown walked around and eyed everything around him carefully.
“Hmm, I’m not exactly sure yet but I’ll know it when I see it.”
Pogo continued walking around and studying his surroundings. As he did, the kid from yesterday who he took his lollipop from came up to Pogo and Kathy with his hands on his hips.
“Hey clown, you owe me a lollipop! What happened to my one from yesterday?”
Kathy bent down and grabbed the kid by the shoulders.
“He stuck it up your mother’s cunt and broke it off inside of her. You should’ve seen the blood splattered lollipop pieces falling out of her wet pussy.”
Kathy shoved the kid, making him fall backwards onto his ass. The kid immediately jumped up and ran away, leaving the snapback hat he had on.
Pogo laughed while clapping his hands.
“Wow! That was amazing Kathy!”
Kathy took a bow as she smiled from ear to ear.
Pogo and Kathy continued to walk around the carnival until Pogo saw the bumper cars. Once he noticed the bumper cars he smiled from ear to ear. He looked at the old people walking around the carnival with no hope or purpose and an idea grew in his mind to the size of the beanstalk from Jack and the Beanstalk.
“O baby! Do I have a wonderful idea!”
Pogo whispered in Kathy’s ear and Kathy smiled at the idea Pogo had planned. Dutifully, she ran out and gathered four elderly people while Pogo did the same. They each gathered four of who they thought were the most miserable and worn out elderly folks. They were all so old and senile that they didn’t protest being dragged to and duct taped to the front of the bumper cars.
“Gosh I feel just like Dr. Kovorkian!” Pogo said while clapping his hands.
Pogo rushed to the controls of the bumper cars and turned on the ride as Detroit Rock City by Kiss blared at full volume.
Pogo watched with glee as the cars crashed into one another and smashed the kneecaps and the elderly people screamed in horror and pain. It seemed to be the most awake that they had been in years.
“Pogo!” Kathy shouted gently smacking Pogo’s shoulder.
“Haven’t those old fucks been through enough?”
Pogo shrugged his shoulders.
“Hey you don’t know if these elderly fucks were assholes when they were younger. I just might be possessed by karma and giving them their due for being racist or homophobic.”
Pogo rolled his eyes.
Pogo cranked the ride at full volume and watched as the cars sped into one another and crushed all eight of the elderly folks into meat waffles with a strawberry filling. Blood, guts, shit and intestines covered the bumper cars’ track as the cars drove through it. Pogo laughed hysterically at the corpses of the elderly people on the bumper cars as they continued to drive around the area.
“God the scene reminds me of playing Twisted Metal while I was high on mushrooms. Ah good times!”
As Pogo was reflecting on the past, he saw what had to be close to forty police cars speeding down the highway that the carnival was off of. The sirens all together were so loud that they could be heard over KISS.
“Uh oh, welp it looks like this is the end.” Pogo said as he looked out at the highway.
Kathy studied the police cars for a few moments. She turned back to Pogo and saw him pull out his butcher’s knife and shove it into his stomach, sliding it to the left and right.
“Ahh….that outta do the trick.”
Pogo rolled his eyes.
“What? Do you think I’m going to Death Row? If anybody is killing me, it’s going to be a god damn professional. Not some rent a cop wearing a black bag over his head.”
“B-but I need you Pogo.”
Pogo shook his head as blood began to pour from his mouth.
“You’re ready kid, you got this. Now get out of here before they lock you up like that show all the cunts watch on Netflix.”
The cops surrounded the carnival and rushed in. They noticed the bumper cars and a few of the rookies doubled over and began to vomit while shaking uncontrollably.
They looked over near the ride and noticed the body of who they assumed to be Pogo. The physical description matched, but the man’s makeup was gone and so was his outfit. He was only in a pair of soiled tightie whities.
“Looks like the fucking faggot offed himself before we could do it.” said an officer.
“God damn pussy.”
On the night of Pogo’s death, a few of the houses who lived near the carnival reported seeing a person dressed as a clown walking through their backyards. The cops ignored these calls given that they already had the corpse of the clown in the morgue.
When they got calls the next morning about dead dogs in the neighborhood near the carnival, they wondered if they truly had the man that referred to himself as Pogo the Clown or if a protégé was beginning where he left off.