The Smart Mark Spank Bank: Paige

It seems that ever since AJ Lee got over with wresting fans, there has been a spot she created on the roster that has since been filled ever since which is, the female wrestler that all the nerdy smart mark fans drool over. The things needed to fill this spot on the roster is a female who is above average in physical appearance but give the illusion that the pale white wrestling fans who are very knowledgeable about comic books have a chance with her. Currently Alexa Bliss fills this spot on the roster because she used to dress like Harley Quinn and guys pathetic enough to sit all the way through Suicide Squad really dug that.

Before her though, the person who filled this spot was Paige.

Paige’s NXT character of being the Anti-Diva was apparently so believable that horny marks actually believed she wasn’t as superficial and empty headed as The Bellas, although I think that illusion was shattered from her first scene on Total Divas.

Maybe the fact that she was dating guys as low on the totem pole as a member of A Day To Remember that gave smart marks the hope that even they could have a chance with Paige.

After she was suspended and began fooling around with Alberto Del Rio, going south of the border to handle whatever daddy issues she had, the smart marks lost their erections for her.

And then the iCloud leak went down.

There’s no telling how many times a guy in a bedroom surrounded by WWE Mattel action figures still in the packaging has jerked off to Paige taking a shotgun barrel of jizz to the face or her demonstrating for a mystery man how she’s stretching out her asshole for him.

What’s most shocking of all regarding this leak is how Paige was fooling around with Brad Maddox and Xavier Woods. Who the hell knew that Brad Maddox could not only avoid making a girl feeling uncomfortable and getting pepper sprayed in the eyes but could get someone as attractive as Paige back to his hotel room? And I also love how Xavier Woods used to try and keep up this false persona of a nerdy geek who just sat in his hotel room playing Final Fantasy and in reality he’s having Paige ride his dick while Brad Maddox is in a Terminator pose for one angle and a camera on the tripod is set up for the second angle.

Dude is on YouTube pretending he has as much game as PewDiePie and in reality he’s doing shit the ECW locker room used to do when Sunny would kick open the door, covered in whipped cream and slurring her words.

And speaking of Sunny, I want to thank whoever leaked Paige’s videos and pics for supplying us with footage of Paige before Father Time ruins her body, because let’s be honest the way she’s probably living by the time she signs her name on a Vivid Entertainment contract that pussy’s gonna look like expired canned chicken.

Ugh, it’s a shame there wasn’t iCloud hacking in 1998. Imagine the shit from Sunny we could be rubbing one out to? Her riding Shawn Michaels as Sid Vicious is slowly rubbing himself to stay hard while he waits his turn and Chris Candido walks by, sees what’s happening, starts bawling and calls his drug dealer for a fistful of fatal muscle relaxers. Now that is something I’d love to polish the bishop to!

Alright, I think I can stop rambling, I’ve met my word count for the day. Here’s the link to all of the clips that leaked so lube up your fleshlight, pretend it’s Paige and once you penetrate scream at the top of your lungs



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