The Smart Mark Spank Bank: Bastion Booger

There were a lot of hot females from the 90s. Kelly Kapowski from Saved By The Bell……..Topanga from Boy Meets World……Pam Anderson and Carmen Electra when you needed a real slut who had a grade A head game.

But all of these girls couldn’t hold a candle to the sexuality that Bastion Booger dripped with. Women wanted to ride him, be drenched in his sweat.



And men questioned their sexuality when they saw this hefty Abercrombie model waddling to the ring.

The term chubby chaser didn’t even exist before Bastion Booger appeared in a ring in his Victoria’s Secret singlet, ready and eager to do a job for Virgil. After his debut, Webster’s Dictionary needed a term to describe the lust and desire he had created overnight with the WWE universe. Hence the term chubby chaser was born.



Eventually when Bastion Booger won a match and the world saw that his finishing move was to sit on his opponent’s head, grinding his crotch into the man’s face while he was unconscious………it created a sexual liberation movement that even made Fabio look like he wasn’t getting laid.



At that year’s WrestleMania, the WWE created a fan experience that gave lucky women and yes men too the experience of laying on the ground and having Bastion Booger do his finishing move on them. It was said that to increase the peak sexuality of this experience, Bastion Booger didn’t shower or wipe his ass for an entire week and only ate the spiciest Curry. Over the course of a weekend, hundreds of WWE fans left happy, their sexual needs met and brown stains all over their cheeks.

The sexual revolution of Bastion Booger went on for well over a year before Vince McMahon had to let him go due to the insane crowds storming into arenas, waving fistfuls of money demanding for Bastion Booger’s sweat covered singlet. Dave Meltzer has reported in the past that Bastion Booger’s termination came to be when Shawn Michaels whispered into Vince’s ear after a night of passionate lovemaking that he was getting jealous of the attention Bastion Booger received from pre-teen girls.



After the WWE, Bastion Booger started in straight porn classics such as Ice Cream Man With A New Flavor and gay porn classics as Shut Up And Eat My Cakehole, but they never created the sexual revolution that his wrestling career achieved.

In 2010, Bastion Booger sadly passed away. It’s rumored that the caretakers of the cemetery he resides in pick up 400 pairs of used panties on a daily basis that cover his grave.

It was also reported in 2015 that roughly five thousand wrestling fans a day google “Bastion Booger sexy pics to make me cum harddd”.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s