The Smart Mark Spank Bank: Sable

Welcome to the first official post of something I am going to title The Smart Mark Spank Bank. Due to my blog receiving record traffic for leaked photos of Charlotte and Victoria, I have now taken it upon myself to watch out for the lustful needs of the Internet Wrestling Community.

“Well if that’s true why don’t you deliver on your blowjob promise?”

And to that I would say fuck Sting and fuck you, go fuck yourself because my throat certainly isn’t going to do it for you.

So, since I’m a blogging attention whore who’s only fulfillment in life comes from people around the world checking out whatever I post, this is what it’s come down to. Lord knows it’s not going to be the short stories or movie reviews I write. Even Clips To Whack Off To doesn’t receive all that much attention, I guess I’ll have to start including those underground Polaroids or Linda Lovelace getting fucked by a dog, yeah that’s what the kids want!

So the first person I’ll be discussing and showcasing in The Smart Mark Spank Bank is Sable and for good reason. Sable was perhaps the first female in WWE (WWF at the time) who really used sexuality to get over. Sure, girls before her innocently flirted and danced around in a bikini but didn’t really step over the line that was there due to WWE’s family entertainment product before they went full adult for a few years.

When WWE started to appeal towards males in the 18-35 age range, Sable took advantage of this. Like Nikki Bella today, Sable had absolutely no talent other than having a body guys drooled over and used this to her advantage. Acting sexy and showing the goods kept the paychecks coming for a lot longer than they should’ve.

Sure, she’s married to Brock Lesnar now and perhaps I shouldn’t be so negative about a woman married to such a beast but let’s be honest, Brock Lesnar isn’t going to kick my ass unless it involves two $50,000 checks he’ll collect as he bounces from one foot to the other while Heyman delivers a promo and then a $500,000-$1,000,000 check to wrap his arms around my waist and toss me around several times before he tuckers out and wants to go back to Canada and hibernate in his log cabin for another six months.

Anyway, enough about a performer so dull and lazy it’s like watching The Undertaker in a Jimmy John’s sleeveless shirt, here’s the pics of Sable’s infamous photoshoot for Playboy in 1999. Enjoy giving your cock the ol sleeper hold to the woman other women wanted to be and the men who came to see her.

(God remember how she delivered that catchphrase every night and it always sounded like a porn actress reading her lines for the first time? Terrible.)

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