Captain America: Civil War Review……Well A Review Of The 42 Minutes I Was Able To Sit Through

I am over superhero movies.

The first superhero movie to truly kick off this craze, X-Men (yes nerd, I remember Blade) came out when I was eight years old and quite honestly, comic book films really haven’t done much to improvement or be different from that formula that began in the first year of the century.

I decided to give Captain America: Civil War a view since it seemed like this one had something different to offer than the rest of countless mediocre superhero films that are released. Well, I was mistaken.

In the 41-42 minutes I was able to tolerate before taking out the Blu-Ray, these were the only things I really enjoyed seeing. One was a CGI creation of a young 1980s era Robert Downey Jr, that made me wish I was watching Weird Science, Less Than Zero or even The Pick Up Artist instead. The second was the brief moment with Black Panther, who offers a little something different in an otherwise very boring and by the numbers cinematic universe.

If you’re looking for anything new, you’ll find more originality and creativity in the way your paint dries on the bedroom wall. Too much of this film is the same old shit from Marvel, superheroes easily taking down numerous bad guys in a way that feels like you’re watching someone playing a video game where they’re a level 60 character surrounded by a bunch of level 1s. There are also numerous action movie tropes such as the hero waiting alone in a church and all the good guys in aviator sunglasses drinking coffee and communicating while pretending not to be communicating. It’s all to the point where you feel as if you’re watching a rough draft of a satirical film mocking the tropes of the superhero/action genre.

Overall, Captain America: Civil War is like any other popcorn action film with too generous of a budget. I see zero difference in this film from any of the Jason Bourne sequels or any Jason Statham film. All of the characters are pretty dull and lifeless and the movie pretty much relies on you getting behind or hating someone because one is the good guy, the other is the bad guy and well…..that’s just the way things have always been since you played Cops and Robbers right?

I compare Disney Marvel films to the music of The Chainsmokers. They completely suck out any creativity or originality out of these films so that the masses who say “Well, when I go to the movies I prefer not to think” pack into the theater and they collect a billion dollars. They have a financially successful formula and it’s incredibly boring to watch as the same old shit happens.

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2 thoughts on “Captain America: Civil War Review……Well A Review Of The 42 Minutes I Was Able To Sit Through

  1. I feel CGI has ruin a lot. They only cool thing about this movie was the fighting scene after that it seem like an iron man 4 movie. I mean Black Widow is what does it for me. She makes me bring a cucumber to the movie theather. Only think that came good from this is the prom parodies which is amazing. But of course my favorite writer gets everything right

    Liked by 1 person

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